dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
