me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Are my feet made of real feet?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Randomize
