i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
