There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
