I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
