I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
