She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
