Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize