it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
