There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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