Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Randomize
