Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
