my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
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That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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