Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
