its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
