he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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