And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
