so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
