I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
