This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
