just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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