Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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