Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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