Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
