I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number