Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
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I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
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I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?