What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Randomize
