Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
