her vagine was all disorganized.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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