It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
