First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize