Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
