you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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