she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
