Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
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The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
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Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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