When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize