so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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