I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
