The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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