Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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