So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
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