I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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