He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
