Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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