is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
