It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
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not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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