don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize