Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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