Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
