3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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