How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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