Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
