I'd wear matching sweaters with you
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
