I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
