Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
