I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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