I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
