Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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