He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
