respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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